Forgiveness; does it make everything alright?

My story

A number of year ago I did something really stupid against my wife. I had broken her trust and the  great relationship that I had with her. Why am I telling you this?

Let me start by telling you about my wife. She is a woman full of love and grace. She is kind and generous. I say this not because she is my wife but because other people say it of her.

My wife loves me and because of that she already has forgiveness in her heart for me. I, the idiot that I am did not even realise that at the time, but even though she loved me it did not heal our relationship together. The saying goes, It takes two to tango. Well it took me to come to her with a repentant heart, wanting to have this relationship healed. Because she loved me she was ready and waiting for me to wake up and come to her wanting this marriage to work. Her forgiveness did not heal our relationship. When I came to her to confess my sin against her, she replied “ I forgive you, I love you”. That kind of response broke my heart. when I expected her to be angry, she was not but demonstrated that inner beauty that I fell in love with. I had to do my part of coming to her in repentance to heal our relationship. She had already forgiven me, but I had to do something as well. When I realised how much she loved me it changed me so that I made a decision not to hurt her again. This gave us back our oneness as a married couple that I had broken.


I asked the question “Why am I telling you this?”, well here is the answer.

Gods Story

Over the last few years I have seen many people get all upset over the Good News of the Kingdom that is preached about a God who loves us and has already forgiven us through our Lord Christ Jesus (past tense). A God who shows us mercy and grace even in our deepest sins. BUT all that the above is telling me is that God has prepared his heart to receive us. He shows us his inner beauty.

This does not heal our relationship with Him. There is no universal “we are right with God”. In our relationship with Him it does take two to dance. God has already prepared himself to receive us. It is up to us now to wake up, to see that the Love (John 3:16) that He has for us and that Grace that He has given us, and to repent (change our minds). Only is doing so does it heal our relationship with Him. When you make that decision you will realise that God has been there all the time watching and waiting with open arms to receive you just like the father of the prodigal son was doing.

Only when we come to God with a repentant heart does it heal our relationship and restore that oneness with him. God wants to come and dwell within us (John 14:23), to live His life through us, that we may be the arms, the legs, the outward expression of our indwelling Lord (Galatians 2:20).

As I grow older I realise that every day of my life I need His love, His mercy, His grace, His indwelling presence to live my life through Christ Jesus. Every day I am reminded that like in my relationship with my wife where we take the time to talk and discuss things that matter to both of us, so I take time to talk to my heavenly Father about things that matter to both of us (His will in my life).

If you realise how much God loves you then make that decision today to repent, He is waiting for you.


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3 Responses to Forgiveness; does it make everything alright?

  1. ivancilliers says:

    An awesome description of the relationship between God and us and at the same time refutes universalism.

  2. Adi says:

    Bravely shared and well put. For what it is worth I am proud to have friends such as you. Both you and Estelle are a living testimony which sets the bar high.

  3. Rene Cilliers says:

    Stan thank you for bravely sharing your heart. It is so much easier to play the victim and to blame your husband, but Estelle has chosen to forgive and to love instead. What a remarkable woman. Stan I salute you for seeing Estelle’s worth and for leading your family in God’s love and grace.

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